some of this might be useful a small percentage of the time, but how do you get good tips from people that come from here (very common at my restaurant, except for maybe siberia)?
also, this deliciously naughty form of anonymous revenge and judgment must be morally right. Anything that feels good is good behavior. Like slathering raw chicken all over my thighs!
Can't wait until you can post the name of someone you think is a child molester online.
May 31, 2007
May 30, 2007
Danzig!!!
greetings, complete strangers. things i need for plan to come to fruition: a picture for my website from janel. webspace from dennis. the little screw on thingy to put on the bottom of my camera to connect to my tripod. someone has it. a finished layout for my webpage. old movie clips from the huron house. a small, elongated nobby capsule (unrelated and none of your business). and some goddamn business to pick up at the restaurant so I don't starve to death while bringing others some fine pan asian cuisine.
I did wait on a nearly naked girl today, however. HOLY MATRIMONY, she had breast!!!!
I did wait on a nearly naked girl today, however. HOLY MATRIMONY, she had breast!!!!
May 29, 2007
the benzine ring
hi. i have asthma and i'm a waiter. i hate being a waiter and i'm taking steps to correct that. i'll start by using capitol letters where deemed appropriate. Following that, I will use "capital" when referring to taller letters.
This will soon be a video blog on my own website. mark my words.
shit. lowercase again.
This will soon be a video blog on my own website. mark my words.
shit. lowercase again.
May 7, 2007
May 1, 2007
My Favorite 5 Wheezy Videos (right now)
1. Bug Junk!
This one features I first and only attempt at sidewalk chalk animation (as of 12/08). It was inspired by the third comment in this thread by "thestopsignisalwaysred". Special thanks to Nate Bartley for his illustrations and acting. Also, thanks to Ashleigh Moyer and Sam Grant.
2. The Lottery
Film Noir at it's cheapest.
3. The Trophy Thief
I'm my own worst enemy. Special thanks to Tyler Burke for being my PA for an entire Sunday.
4. Take on Chores
There was something retro going on in my kitchen.
5. Ba(n)d Practice
A typical day at practice with my band, Driftless Pony Club.
Wheezy Wide Web
Friends
Harmony JoyrideThe Hood Internet
mbimotmog
Consumatron
Westwash Forever
Three Udders and a Studio
Inclement Weather
Petecroke.com
The Children of Marx and Coca-cola
HeadlinerCreative
Fresh Cut (chicago webvideo)
Planetschwoop
Unknown City
Colleagues
Insane WaiterRaging Server
Restaurant Gal
Waiterrant
Tip 20
Bitter Waitress
Verbal Tip
Bitter Waitress
The Beardly
ABOUT WHEEZY WAITER
My name is Craig. I used to be a waiter in a downtown Chicago restaurant. It's not as lucrative as it sounds. I started this video blog in late May 2007 out of frustration with a job that barely paid the rent and didn't involve any of my creative skills. It was originally going to be a blog about the trials and tribulations of the dining experience, from the point of view of both waiters and customers. It became a showcase for my own brand of absurd humor which occasionally includes dining subject matter. After half a year of blogging and freelance video work, I eventually got a job as a video guy at a web development company.
Now, I'm constantly fiddling with the design of the wheezywaiter.com as I try badly to teach myself html coding. And I search desperately for some time to make more movies.
I also have a band called Driftless Pony Club which you can check out at driftlessponyclub.com. We've been playing at least once a month here in Chicago.
I accidentally created my own catch phrase "Get Drunk" which I often try to avoid saying these days. I've pawned the phrase off on my dad, who's in several episodes and is not an alcoholic as far as I know.
I often respond to comments in my episodes. So please, comment. There are no bad comments, just bad ideas.
I mention chips and salsa, and eat it, a LOT. I do this in real life as well.
The music for my intro is May or May Not, a Chicago band whose members I'm very good friends with. One member is Steve Sleeve from The Hood Internet. I interview him in an episode called The Hood Interview, which features us in the shower together. Another member is Zaid Maxwell. He's in one of my favorite and most challenging episodes, Wheezy Western. We shower together in real life.
![Creative Commons License]()
Now, I'm constantly fiddling with the design of the wheezywaiter.com as I try badly to teach myself html coding. And I search desperately for some time to make more movies.
I also have a band called Driftless Pony Club which you can check out at driftlessponyclub.com. We've been playing at least once a month here in Chicago.
Things You Should Know
"Danzig" is a term I co-opted to mean "Zing" or "Oh Snap" or "By Jove! I ardently affronted thine technique, young spalpeen!"I accidentally created my own catch phrase "Get Drunk" which I often try to avoid saying these days. I've pawned the phrase off on my dad, who's in several episodes and is not an alcoholic as far as I know.
I often respond to comments in my episodes. So please, comment. There are no bad comments, just bad ideas.
I mention chips and salsa, and eat it, a LOT. I do this in real life as well.
The music for my intro is May or May Not, a Chicago band whose members I'm very good friends with. One member is Steve Sleeve from The Hood Internet. I interview him in an episode called The Hood Interview, which features us in the shower together. Another member is Zaid Maxwell. He's in one of my favorite and most challenging episodes, Wheezy Western. We shower together in real life.
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