Saturday the 14th

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Friday the 13th is an exceedingly unlucky day. The following things happened to me on previous Friday the 13th's:
I lost my job, someone broke into my car, I lost the presidency by a landslide, my corporate empire dipped out of the fortune 500, I went blind, I lost both my legs, I accidentally bought diet sprite when I wanted regular, and I became a waiter.
However. Rest easy, wheezies. Saturday the 14th is the luckiest day ever. Here's things that happened to me on Saturday the 14th's:
I got my job back, North Korea shut down their nuclear reactor (I am personally affected by this in ways you can't understand, so shut up), the guy who broke into my car came back and repaired it (at a competitive rate), my blindness turned into deafness (which I think is a lesser handicap), I met someone I think I'm in love with at a paraplegic convention (I lost my virginity), I was elected president of Uruguay or something, and I've learned to like diet sprite almost as much as regular.

You see. Don't let Friday the 13th get you down. Just wait a day. And remember to keep working on those songs about chips and salsa.

wink (ding)
wheezy waiter

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